“I’ve been without a Mother for far too long…”

Even in these days of “social distancing,” Mothers’ Day is upon us!

Keep reading for a simple prayer to make this Mother’s Day more meaningful than ever.

The governor of our state decides a week ago that florists are “essential.” Naturally, political leaders have wives and mothers who need to feel the love. Moms in Washington State will receive flower deliveries, and my flower friends get a financial boost. The governor can send his wife flowers, too!

Bouquet I designed awhile back!

But many of us can’t be with our moms this Mothers’ Day. We probably yearn for hugs, laughter, familiar food, scents, surroundings — things that come with Mom being in the same space. This emotional pang is a feeling I’m well-accustomed to.

Do you ever come out of deep sleep with a rich thought, knowing if you don’t write it down immediately, you’ll forget it by morning? A few nights ago I got this–

“Write a blog post called, ‘I’ve been without a mother for far too long.’ Tell your story, and bring in the idea of asking Mary to spiritually adopt me.”

Of course, now you can skip ahead to the end, for I’ve given away the plot!

You see, I’m an orphan. In 1986, Mom dies of complications from Sarcoidosis, a rare lung disease. Colon cancer takes Dad in 1989.* I’m immersed in the work of a young wife and mother, launch my floral business, and get involved with parish life. I grieve, but must keep moving because life requires it.

Before becoming a rosary-only florist, I design wedding flowers. When a bride brings her mom to the consultation, I notice their relationship: Healthy bonds bring me joy, but when I see power struggles, or deep-seated angst, my heart hurts. I long to say — “You could be planning your wedding with your Mother in the grave. Be nice to one another!”

Me with our daughter on her wedding day.

We need our mothers, and miss them when they’re gone. I long to thank Mom for everything she endured, in order to give me a great life. I yearn to apologize for my challenging teen years. I desire to hear her speak admiringly for John and I raising five delightful souls, and watch her enjoy her little great-grandchildren. I want to celebrate her on Mothers’ Day, even from a nursing home. But I can’t.

It’s my belief that Mom is in Heaven, and with a loving wisdom that’s transcendent, she knows my needs and wants, and she cares for me. Perhaps she asks God on my behalf for eternal gifts that do not disappoint, like hope.

This year, it’s quiet here. Four out of our five grandchildren live out of state, and we won’t be seeing the local one. The pace is slowed, and I have time to reflect, and acknowledge that I miss my mother. Perhaps you can relate in your own way.

I came across this lovely quote from Saint Francis de Sales: “Let us run to Mary, and, as her little children, cast ourselves into her arms with a perfect confidence.” I always love it when my kids throw themselves into my arms. These arms never tire of spontaneous hugs from my children and grandchildren. I imagine the Mother of Our Lord would feel the same way about us, her earthly kids.

Jesus gave Mary to his beloved disciple from the cross. From that hour, the disciple took her into his home. She was in his home giving hugs, laughter, familiar food — the things that come with Mom being in the same space as her kids.

The idea to ask Mary to adopt me came in that middle of the night thought. I realize that she can’t adopt me unless I ask her to. I have to acknowledge my orphaned state, and ask that she make room for me in her family.

To honor that inspiration, here’s a little prayer. I hope you’ll pray it , too. Let me know if it helps you have a Happy Mothers’ Day!

Dear Mary, Mother of my Lord Jesus, be my Mother, too. Please adopt me as your very own child. Raise me with the same love and care you gave Jesus. Teach me how to be a good (daughter, son) to you, and (sister, brother) to Him. Help me grow to resemble Him, in thought, word, and deed, so that when people look at me, they see only Him.

Amen.

Have a wonderful Mothers’ Day. Blessings to you and your loved ones on this beautiful day!

* After mom died, Dad remarried, and gave our family a saintly step-mom, who was very dear and easy to love. Alzheimers took her memories in the early 2000’s, and she passed away in 2014. Because this post is about me and my mother, I have left her out of the story, but do not mean to slight her in any way.

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